Comments You’ll Never Hear From A Karaoke M.C.

“Good evening, ladies & gentlemen. I’d like to say that we have a fun-filled exciting evening planned… but unfortunately we’ll be listening to various drunkards singing karaoke instead.”

“If this is your first karaoke experience, you’re about to discover why it’s such a popular activity…except for those who are sober and/or are able to hear.”

“I’m not sure if you should sing – it appears that you’ve been drinking and your judgment might be impaired”

Question: who should be more embarrassed – the guy wearing toeless socks and carrying a sword or the person rockin’ out on the right?

“If you're interested in singing, we have a huge range of songs including recent hits from the mid-90s. Sorry, no we don’t have anything less than 10 years old. I don’t want to get too in-depth, as those of you from outside the karaoke industry just simply wouldn’t understand why we don’t have any songs more recent.”

“If your idea of fun is listening to drunken strangers & drunker friends butchering crappy songs that you can’t stand the original versions of, than you’re in for a fun-filled evening…especially if you’ve been drinking.”

“Hopefully we’ll be able to get you up on stage to show the crowd you don’t care if you suffer from what others refer to as ‘tone deaf’.”

“…A chick walks by you wish you could sex her
But you're standin’ on the wall like you was Poindexter…”
Not-So-Young MC

“What’s that? You don’t want to do it because you don’t have a good singing voice? Well, we wouldn’t want everyone here to have to put up with a song that wasn’t sung as good as the original.

“You’re having fun, and that’s all that matters. So hop up here and shatter some ear drums!

“That was a really well sung song by that drunken guy stumbling off the stage and scaring the women with his mumbled pick-up lines.”

Orange Shirt Guy “Look at my face - how fucking drunk am I?”
Red Shirt Guy “Hey ladies - check out my crotch. It's here for your listening pleasure.”